Rector of All Saints' Episcopal Chuch, Philadelphia, PA 19114
Written for the
May, 2007 "Star"
The Rev. Jeffrey T. Liddy
Each year, it amazes me that so soon on the heels of Easter Day, with all stops pulled out, Widor’s Toccata played 700 or 800 times, comes a day in which we focus on doubt, courtesy of that doubting disciple Thomas.
How do we move so quickly from resurrection joy to doubt? In some ways, it points to a paradox in a sobering observation, “What a shame that so soon on the heels of Christ come the Christians.”
But I believe there’s a fair amount to celebrate in this theme du jour. The good news: If the first disciples contend with doubt, the early community must have wrestled with doubt, too. And that means that disciples today (you and me) need not deny that doubt is part of the journey. In fact, we should welcome doubt. We celebrate questions. They are our life blood, a source of energy and growth. They keep us awake and on our toes. For doubt is the ants in the pants of faith.
Presuming we all have faith-doubts, what flavor are yours? There are doubts about mechanics, logistics, physics, biology—based on the belief that the natural order only works one way. They all bump into faith.
Gandhi, greatly influenced by Christ’s teaching, skeptically said: “Christians will have to look a lot more saved before I am to believe in their saviour.” Gandhi could not square the teaching of Jesus with what he saw of the injustice in the world and in India---suffering at the hands of Christians . I take comfort in the companionship of Saint Paul, who wrote: “I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do.” Or the prayer of Teresa of Avila: “God, I don’t love you. I don’t even want to love you, but I want to, want to love you!” Doubt is a pattern, a habit, in the bloodstream and our spiritual DNA. Thinking about that leads me to ponder the Easter proclamation: “Christ is alive.” I’m led to doubt when I see members of the same denomination feuding, when I listen to the level of discourse in our divided denomination, when we so wantonly dismiss each other or, when I see in the paper how many conflicts in the world have to do with religion, as people fight with “God on their side.”
That’s when I need to stop and review my “spiritual DNA”—more especially to read my heart. The way I treat people—at least the way I think about treating people—can cause me to doubt. Where is the power of the spirit in my life? Today’s gospel describes the disciples, gathered in fear behind closed doors. It makes me think of the innumerable ways that fear divides us from one another. Fear inevitably breeds resentments of the
heart. Though, Jesus breaks into the midst of the disciples (and their fears), and dispels them. He shows them he is alive! He bids them peace—tthat is, “well-being.” He breathes on them the power of forgiveness. He frees them from their fears that have kept them isolated, and sends them out from their locked doors to change a world, which they did in short order!
Because in The Acts of the Apostles we witness just how rapidly contagious the faith moved; caught more than taught! People said of the disciples of The Way, how they “loved one another.” Nice, if people would say that about you and me. The disciples’ fear moved them to love. Fear moved to love. For the opposite of love is not hate; the opposite of love is fear!
So we come to Thomas: He’d given his heart one time to “this Jesus.” He wasn’t necessarily going to be pulled into his movement again. However, he had not realized what the other disciples had—that Jesus was alive. And so, when he returns he wants unequivocal proof—the wounds, the hands, the feet, the side pierced!
As I think of the ways in which organized religion has failed the wounds of others—how I have fallen short echoing Saint Paul’s words—I imagine all of the wounds to the body of Christ as clearly as Thomas saw them. What does that say about us? How do Christ’s wounds speak to us? Further, what is it that we want to be as a parish — wounds and all?
The same power that moved the stone away from the tomb moves the church. The same power that illumined light into the tomb can illumine our hearts and minds where they may have become timid, isolated, if not outright fearful!
It is our choice. So hear again the Easter proclamation: Because Christ is alive we are empowered to share the good news of God’s love fearlessly, to move beyond our own closed doors and to do and be all that God is calling us to be. Alleluia, Christ is Risen!
